Right Round the Houses (No 27)

IT’S that time of week when we turn the pages of the nation’s newspapers to see what snippets of wisdom those overpaid and over-opinionated columnists have been saying . . .

Right Round the Houses (No 26)

THE main topic of discussion this week in the House of Mysteries is the sexism row sparked by Andy Gray and Richard Keys. Some newspapers even let their female columnists have a say . . .

Right Round the Houses (No 25)

ROLL up, roll up, see the House of Mysteries, the freaks and the clowns, and the famous Tattooed Lady. Oh, and a pile of newspaper columnists with trick bouquets and their bow ties spinning . . .

Right Round the Houses (No 24)

WELCOME Back to Right Round the Houses, the feature where we review the nation’s newspaper columnists . . .

Right Round the Houses (No 23)

AS we untie the bow, peel back the festive paper, and lift the lid to reveal our collection of columnists, will they be brimming with seasonal cheer, we ask ourselves . . . or will they be as snotty, as uncharitable, and as mind-blowingly predictable as ever . . . ?

Right Round the Houses (No 22)

WELCOME back to Right Round the Houses, the weekly feature where Britain’s columnists stand in the road like defiant snowmen, hoping that a mad bus driver like that chap who was sacked in Illinois isn’t going to smash them down in fit of rage . . .  

Silence of the piglets

THE Mail on Sunday has a really cute feature about micro pigs at Christmas. Anyone with children seeing this series of wonderful pictures will immediately dash out and buy a litter. It’s bound to do wonders for the micro pig industry. But hang on. If you are one of these people, then you obviously didn’t see the micro pig news item that appeared in the Mail on November 9 . . .

Not exactly Ulysses

THE Mail on Sunday dedicates 1,067 words to a story about an Irish TD having a drink in a pub on the night austerity measures were passed . . .

Right Round the Houses (No 14)

WELCOME once more to Right Round the Houses, our weekly feature where the nation’s columnists run aground like rudderless submarines at Kyle of Lochalsh and launch stinging attacks like aircraftless aircraft carriers . . .

Land of hope and glory, masala of the free

YES, yes, yes. This is what our forefathers fought for. This is why they closed the wall up with our English dead . . .