WELCOME once more to Right Round the Houses, the weekly feature where the nation’s columnists strive to be witty and erudite – but seldom succeed . . . (visit Ragged Right for the full archive)
The Ephraim Hardcastle column in the Daily Telegraph, February 24, 2011:
Ex-Foreign Secretary David Miliband is busy on Twitter, tweeting: ‘Great honour to Egyptian people today. People power has forced regime change. Needs equal focus and discipline to bring in something better.’ Aren’t the benighted Twitterati fortunate to benefit from his masterly foreign policy analysis?
This is an interesting illustration for people seeking an easy life expressing their opinions in the world of print media. Usually, in a column of bite-sized pieces like this, one is expected to be witty and entertaining. As you can see it’s not always the case.
AN Wilson rages about what he sees as the completely unnecessary 918 tick boxes in the forthcoming census, in the Daily Mail, February 23, 2011:
Admittedly, the religion question is optional. But, in a sense, it is a less intrusive question to ask someone’s religion than to peer into their sexual preferences — or, come to that, bossily inquire whether they have gas or electric heating devices.
Cripes. Not the dreaded gas or electric heating devices tick box. I hope there’s a coal-in-the-bath-option.
Stephen Glover pens a huge, rambling piece on the Labour Party allegedly doing deals with Colonel Gaddafi, in the Daily Mail, February 22, 2011:
The man is a monster, and mad and corrupt as well. Yet, starting in 2004, Labour set out to appease him and make deals with him.
The rotters. I expect, though, that somewhere in this huge, rambling piece there will be a reference to Margaret Thatcher buying oil off Gaddafi during the 1984 miners strike, the same year the Libyans murdered PC Yvonne Fletcher? There will be, won’t there? What, there isn’t?
Richard Littlejohn’s having trouble keeping up with events in the Arab world, in the Daily Mail, February 22, 2011:
Today’s hotspot is Libya. By tomorrow, it could be Morocco, or Dubai. Who can tell? All we do know is that the Middle East is in a state of flux. We are not in a position to influence anything.
But if we really tried to influence events, Dickie, perhaps we could find a way.
Yet smack dab in the centre of all this, Call Me Dave jets into Egypt. He is the first Western leader to visit the country since Mubarak was toppled. Why?
Er . . . because he’s in a position to influence events.
Leo McKinstry, afraid that events in the Arab world will unleash a tide of Islam that will sweep across Christendom and swamp Margate, cannot resist having a pop at a “socialist” villain, in the Daily Express, February 21, 2011:
In Libya the autocratic Colonel Gaddafi, whose tyranny mixes Islamism with socialist ideology and Arab nationalism, has reacted with typical ferocity at the challenge to his power.
Peculiarly, McKinstry fails to mention that the other leaders under threat are – to a man – rabid right-wing capitalist despots and tyrannical monarchists who would be as comfortable watching polo among the upper echelons of British society as in their desert palaces. Watch out for Gaddafi, though. The bounder’s a red.
Visit Ragged Right for the full archive.
