Right Round the Houses (No 23)

AS we untie the bow, peel back the festive paper, and lift the lid to reveal our collection of columnists, will they be brimming with seasonal cheer, we ask ourselves . . . or will they be as snotty, as uncharitable, and as mind-blowingly predictable as ever . . . ?

One small step for man . . .

THEY came from outer space – wearing great big shoes, apparently. The Sun, the Daily Telegraph and the Daily Mail have this story about military files being released in New Zealand and shining new light on the murky world of extraterrestrial beings. All three papers highlight the same tantalising information: an alien was seen wearing size 440 shoes. So just how big is a size 440 shoe . . . ?

Breaking ice, breaking news . . .

THE Manchester Evening News gets right to the heart of the best stories of the big freeze. Who would have assumed for one moment that icy weather would boost de-icer sales? Not me, that’s for sure. Let’s have a look through the paper to see if there are any similar cutting-edge stories . . .

Flodds of praise

FROM the Shields Gazette:

Daily Express: The reusable headline

THE Daily Express introduces a new concept in page presentation – the interchangeable headline. There’s one for every day of the current weather crisis. All you do is swap the noun:

Right Round the Houses (No 22)

WELCOME back to Right Round the Houses, the weekly feature where Britain’s columnists stand in the road like defiant snowmen, hoping that a mad bus driver like that chap who was sacked in Illinois isn’t going to smash them down in fit of rage . . .  

Silence of the piglets

THE Mail on Sunday has a really cute feature about micro pigs at Christmas. Anyone with children seeing this series of wonderful pictures will immediately dash out and buy a litter. It’s bound to do wonders for the micro pig industry. But hang on. If you are one of these people, then you obviously didn’t see the micro pig news item that appeared in the Mail on November 9 . . .

Daily Express has Father Ted moment

AN Austrian has been fined for yodelling while mowing his lawn because it offended his Muslim neighbours, the Daily Express tells us. It becomes apparent further down the story, however,

Most entertaining headline of the day (No 3)

FROM the Newcastle Evening Chronicle:

Most inappropriate headline of the day

FROM the Daily Mail: