The braised tortoise with cavalo nero, please

THE Independent has a report about an archaeological discovery in Galilee, northern Israel. Scientists excavating a cave have discovered the remains of a 12,000-year-old feast, thought to be the first indication of humans fostering community spirit. Apparently, three wild cattle and 71 tortoises were cooked and consumed. The Indy tells us:

People in ice houses . . .

THE Daily Express must have thought it was on firm ice this morning when it splashed on a story about scientists at the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change being criticised by the InterAcademy Council. This was just up the Express’ street, allowing it to continue fostering its readers’ belief that global warming was created by Tony Blair as an excuse to raise taxes

This one’s hard to swallow

THE Daily Express and the Daily Mail, upholding the journalistic tradition of filling their pages with tosh on bank holiday Monday because they can’t be bothered to do some proper work, have a story about a couple in Dorset who moved a swallow’s nest in order to demolish a barn

Right round the houses (No 8)

IT’S come round again – our weekly glance into the slightly disjointed world of the British newspaper columnist. This week’s theme could be: “Imagination – do we need it? No.” . . .  

Vegetables. Put them in charge

THIS Daily Telegraph headline requires a few words tagging on the end for clarification. Here are some suggestions:

In the slow lane

NEITHER is the Daily Express up to speed, because here it gives us a salutary lesson in what not to do when criticising the mistakes of others . . .

Having a field day with swastikas

THE Daily Mail has a swastika story. We’ll take a look at this because prior to 1939 the Mail was big on swastika stories. Its proprietor, Lord Rothermere, was a fan and supporter of Hitler and Mussolini – a state of affairs which continued quite happily until the outbreak of war made it prudent to rethink editorial policy. Nowadays, of course, the Mail is much more left-wing and liberal in its views

Something’s down the tube

IT’S a strange world out there – and one of the strangest places is the Liverpool Daily Post

The blame game, the shame game

THE Daily Mail brings us the final chapter in the tragic story of two pensioners found dead in their home during last January’s cold spell.

An elderly couple died in their freezing home because they were too proud to ask for help. Derrick Randall, 76, and his wife Jean, 79, refused assistance from doctors and social workers even as their health worsened, a serious case review found yesterday.

They refused help. Got that? They were offered assistance and they refused it. Let’s hope their plight helps to avert a similar occurrence. But hold on a minute, back in January when this tragedy unfolded, was everything so clear cut? No it wasn’t. This was the Daily Mail’s line back then:

Like a bat out of Whitby

LIKE bats flitting from a darkened window in the abbey tower, news of the impending Bram Stoker film festival – that’s the second ever Bram Stoker film festival, in case you were unaware – is scattered on the good people of Whitby like droplets of crimson blood. We can only assume they are thankful. After all, it saves them climbing the benighted lane and knocking on that huge oaken door to find out news themselves. Because we all know what the outcome of that would be . . .